Homeschoolers and those considering it are often bombarded with direct questions about socialising as well as indirect hints that home schooled children aren’t socially aware.

Also the ability to make friends is often a concern for homeschooling parents.

I’m writing this to explain a bit more about what socialising is, why mainstream school can’t be classed as socialising and some other useful information about how children develop and the best forms of socialising.

At this point, I would also like to recommend a very good book:

“Free to Learn’ by Peter Gray

The book covers a lot more about socialising and is a great resource for anyone considering homeschooling or anyone who has any concerns and is questioning the current mainstream schooling system.

Why Mainstream Schooling Is Not the Best Way to Socialize Your Child—and How Homeschooling Can Offer Better Socialization

Socialization is often cited as one of the key benefits of mainstream schooling.

The idea is that children will naturally develop social skills through regular interaction with their peers in structured settings like classrooms, recess, and extracurricular activities. However, many parents and educators are questioning this assumption, suggesting that mainstream schooling might not always be the best environment for fostering healthy social skills.

Homeschooling offers opportunities for more meaningful and diverse socialisation that is tailored to the individual needs of each child.

Let’s look at what socialising actually is by starting with some definitions:

Oxford Languages: “Mixing socially with others.”

Cambridge Dictionary: “To spend time with other people in order to enjoy yourself.”

Merriam-Webster: “To interact with others in a friendly or sociable manner.”

Collins English Dictionary: Socializing is “the activity of spending time with other people for pleasure.”

Macmillan Dictionary: Socializing means “talking to and doing things with other people in a friendly way.”

Peter Gray, a developmental psychologist and author, provides an insightful perspective on socializing through the lens of play.

He emphasizes that play is a fundamental way through which humans, especially children, develop social and intellectual skills. For Gray, genuine social interaction often involves unstructured, self-directed activities where individuals learn cooperation, conflict resolution, and creative thinking in a low-pressure environment.

Socializing is simply spending time with other people, talking, sharing, and building relationships. It’s how we connect with friends, family, or new people through conversation and activities. It can happen in person, online, or even through phone calls.

Generally speaking, it seems fair to say that in order to class an activity as socialising, it needs to include some aspects:

1 – enjoyment

2 – unstructured/minimally structered activities

3 – interaction and communication with other people

If you consider the typical classroom setting, the activities in a lesson are all structured, not all students enjoy the particular activities and actual interaction with other students is often limited or closely regulated.

Whilst there are some aspects and times of the school day that can be classed as socialising, it certainly isn’t 6 hours per day of socialising.

The Limitations of Mainstream Schooling for Socialization

1. Age-Segregated Environments

Mainstream schools typically group children by age, limiting opportunities to engage with individuals from different generations. In the real world, we interact with people of various ages, backgrounds, and experiences.

Children confined to same-age groups miss out on learning essential interpersonal skills that are better developed in mixed-age settings, such as empathy and adaptability.

Peer Pressure and Conformity

Schools can be breeding grounds for peer pressure and conformity. Children often feel compelled to fit in, sometimes at the expense of their individuality or well-being.

This environment can lead to bullying, exclusion, or unhealthy competition, which may hinder authentic social growth. For many children, this pressure damages their confidence, making it difficult to establish genuine and supportive relationships.

This damage/trauma from bullying can have mild to horrific effects in young children. They also carry it with them into adulthood.

2.Superficial Interactions

Socializing at school often revolves around brief and surface-level interactions, such as chatting during recess or working in assigned groups. These scenarios do not always foster deep connections or teach conflict resolution.

Students are limited by school rules and schedules, leaving little room for organic, meaningful interactions.

Overcrowded Classrooms

In many schools, large class sizes mean teachers have limited capacity to mediate conflicts or teach social skills effectively. Children are left to navigate complex social dynamics on their own, which can sometimes lead to negative experiences like bullying, or social anxiety.

In school, most students are taught to compete instead of collobarate which is not a good socialising or life skill.

We can see the effects of this selfish mindset in the wider community.

As a parent, socialising should be a concern for you, even if you send your child to mainstream school.

How Homeschooling Promotes Better Socialization

1.Mixed-Age and Diverse Interactions

Homeschooling provides opportunities for children to interact with people of all ages, from younger siblings and older relatives to adults in the community. These varied interactions mirror real-world scenarios, teaching children how to communicate effectively with people of different ages and backgrounds.

2.Freedom from Peer Pressure

In a homeschooling environment, children are less exposed to the pressures of fitting in with a specific group. This allows them to explore their interests and develop their personalities without fear of judgment. Instead of being forced into social settings, homeschooled children can form connections organically, often based on shared interests and values.

3.Tailored Social Experiences

Homeschooling parents have the flexibility to design social opportunities that suit their child’s needs. From co-op groups and extracurricular activities to volunteering and community events, children can engage in diverse settings where they meet like-minded people. These activities promote genuine friendships and encourage children to practice collaboration, leadership, and empathy.

4.Family Bonding as a Foundation for Social Skills

Homeschooling fosters close family relationships, as children spend more time with parents and siblings. These relationships create a safe environment where children can learn and practice healthy social behaviors, such as problem-solving, active listening, and mutual respect. These skills often translate into positive interactions outside the home.

5.Real-World Learning

Homeschooling provides the flexibility to integrate real-world experiences into education. From museum trips to volunteering and even running small businesses, children learn how to navigate social scenarios in authentic settings. This hands-on approach helps them develop confidence and adaptability—skills that are invaluable for success in life.

Addressing Common Misconceptions About Homeschooling and Socialization

A common myth is that homeschooled children are “isolated” or lack social skills. In reality, research has shown that homeschooled children are often more socially mature and better able to engage in meaningful relationships. With access to extracurricular activities, sports teams, and homeschooling networks, homeschooled children typically have ample opportunities to socialise in diverse and supportive environments.

Conclusion

While traditional schools offer some opportunities for socialization, they also present challenges like age segregation, peer pressure, and limited flexibility. Homeschooling, on the other hand, allows parents to create intentional, meaningful social experiences that better prepare children for the complexities of real-world interactions. By focusing on diverse and authentic socialization opportunities, homeschooling empowers children to develop the confidence and interpersonal skills they need to thrive.

Socialising starts with you as a parent with your child. The more you interact and play with your child, the more social skills your child will learn.

Here are some examples:

Greeting your child in the mornings

Playing games with your child

Sharing jokes and humorous moments

Guiding your child when they make a mistake or do something that wouldn’t be socially acceptable (like picking their nose!)

Socialising with other children:

All children start to socialise with other children at different ages.

Some are ready from the get-go and want to be around other babies and children as much as possible.

Some are completely opposite and only feel safe around mama for a long time.

This is all normal – we all vary as adults too – the best way to help your child socialise is to take cues from them, try things and see what they enjoy and what kind of socialising they are most comfortable with.

Don’t force your child to socialise, there are no milestones to meet.

If your child wants to watch from the sidelines, that is perfectly ok.

They will get there in their own time.

The first thing you need to decide is which/who’s milestones you are going to use?

Different countries have different milestones for the same age groups and different countries have different school starting ages.

The second thing you need to decide is what is really important for you and your child/children?

For some parents academic success is everything, they push their children from an early age and send them to the top private schools. Sometimes this works well and the child thrives with this kind of upbringing, but it can also mean some children miss out on a ‘normal’ childhood and actually fall behind later in life.

Other parents just want to do what will make their children happy. These parents opt for more of a child-led learning approach and allow their child to pursue their own interests and qualifications. Each day is different and activities and goals change to suit the child.

As always there is always a middle ground, where you can take cues from your child as to what they are interested in and how much academic pressure they can handle.

Please note, whatever age your child is, you don’t have to make these decisions all in one day or one week.

Particularly if your child is under 13, there is no rush to choose academic subjects or ‘area of expertise’.

Here are some stages of education for children that might be useful:

0 – 7: The first seven years of a child’s life should be filled with a lot of outdoor and indoor play.

The UK government has a lot of milestones for young children, particularly at the age of 5 and the mainstream education here does a lot of testing.

There is evidence to show that this system is not beneficial for every child.

In Finland they do not start formal schooling until age 7 – I write more about this here

7 – 14: This is where more formal structure can be added, however this should still include lots of outdoor play and allowing a child space, time and an enviroment where they can pursue their interests and learn about the things which they are most curious about.

14+: If things went well in the first stage, by now your young adult will know what he/she enjoys and wants to pursue further. Mastering some core topics and skills and thinking about the world of work and business would be beneficial at this age. Lots of independence and allowing your young adult to find their path, with you as more of a guide and friend.

Homeschooling seems to be growing in popularity, particularly here in Leicester, but it’s a major decision that requires careful consideration.

Whether you’re considering it because of educational philosophies, family circumstances, or the desire for a more personalised approach to learning, you should understand the realities, pros, and cons. This guide explores what homeschooling truly entails, its benefits and challenges, and key factors to consider when deciding if it’s right for your family.

What Does Homeschooling Really Entail?

Choosing to homeschool means that as a parent, you assume the role of teacher, guide, and facilitator for your child’s education. Here are the core elements that most homeschooling parents manage:

1. Developing a Curriculum

In traditional schools, the curriculum is predefined, covering the basics of each subject by grade level. As a homeschooling parent, you’ll need to choose or create a curriculum that fits your child’s needs, your educational philosophy, and any legal requirements. Here are some approaches parents take:

• Pre-Packaged Curriculum: Some homeschooling families prefer to purchase a ready-made curriculum from companies. These programs often come with structured lesson plans, materials, and assessment tools.
• Customized Curriculum: For parents who want more flexibility, building a personalized curriculum allows them to tailor learning according to their child’s interests and strengths. This might include creating unit studies, using online resources, and drawing from multiple educational philosophies (like Montessori, Waldorf, or Classical education).
• Blended Approach: Some parents use a mix of structured and unstructured materials, combining textbooks, online classes, and hands-on projects to create a dynamic learning environment.
• Winging it: Yes, some parents don’t follow any particular curriculum. They spend time playing with their kids, doing the stuff they feel like doing and do very little planning.

Selecting a curriculum can be overwhelming at first, but it also allows you to provide an education that reflects your values, priorities, and your child’s unique needs.

Also, if you have just deregistered your child/ren from school, you may want some time of no schooling or unschooling and let your family just be and spend time together before you start designing a curriculum.

2. Setting a Schedule

Everyone has their own way of educating their children.

There is no right or wrong way.

As long as your children have a good bond and relationship with you and they are motivated to do some kind of learning or play, which varies depending on age, they will be fine.

Homeschooling offers flexibility, but maintaining a routine helps keep children engaged and provides structure. Some children thrive on a fixed structure, some want a lot of flexibility and spontaneous activities.

Families develop schedules based on what works best for them, whether that’s a traditional five-day week, a three-day intensive schedule, or seasonal learning breaks. Some families follow a “loop schedule,” where subjects rotate rather than fitting into set days.

Each schedule can include:

• Core Subjects: These are often scheduled in the morning when children are most focused, covering areas like math, language arts, science, and social studies.
• Electives and Extracurriculars: Afternoons or alternate days can be dedicated to music, art, physical education, or field trips.
• Flex Days: Some families reserve a day each week or month for field trips, nature outings, or family projects, making learning more experiential.

Your schedule can be as rigid or flexible as you need. The important part is that it reflects your family’s rhythm and that your child knows what to expect daily.

Every family has its own unique vibe and the more time you spend with your children and trying out different ways of educating them, the easier it will be to find what works for your family.

3. Finding Resources and Materials

When it comes to resources, homeschooling allows you to think creatively and broadly. Here’s how families often gather materials:

• Libraries: Libraries are invaluable, offering free access to books, educational kits, and even online learning platforms. Some libraries also host workshops and events for homeschoolers.
• Online Platforms: Websites like Khan Academy, Coursera, and YouTube offer lessons on everything from basic math to advanced science, and many of these resources are free.
• Local Museums and Science Centers: Many museums offer homeschool days or educational programs that align with your studies, providing hands-on experiences.
• Community and Co-Op Resources: Some communities have resource centers where homeschool families can check out materials, books, and kits.
• Please do have a look at the directory section of this website, and if you have a resource to add please let us know!

With homeschooling, you have the freedom to adapt your resources to meet your budget and child’s learning style.

Many families appreciate the opportunity to combine structured resources with experiential learning.

In Leicester there are some very proactive mums who make resources and also plan lots of meet ups. So do ask around. You don’t need to do this on your own.

4. Socialization and Activities

Socialization is often a primary concern for families considering homeschooling. However, homeschoolers have ample opportunities for social interaction outside the traditional school environment:

• Homeschool Co-Ops: Co-ops are groups of homeschooling families who meet regularly to share teaching responsibilities, organize group learning activities, and provide socialization for their children. These groups often host field trips, playdates, and group classes.
• Extracurricular Activities: Many communities offer sports leagues, art classes, and clubs that welcome homeschoolers. Additionally, libraries, YMCAs, and local recreation centers often offer activities that encourage peer interaction.
• Virtual Socialization: Online communities allow homeschoolers to interact with peers worldwide. There are virtual book clubs, debate groups, and collaborative projects.

Homeschooling offers flexibility in social experiences, but it does require planning and initiative from parents to ensure children have a well-rounded social life.

Again we are very lucky here in Leicester there is always lots happening for all age groups – there will hopefully be a timetable on this site soon and if you do know of any activities or run some yourself, please do get in touch so we can share the news.

5. Assessment and Record-Keeping

Assessments and record-keeping are crucial for tracking progress, particularly if you live in a state or country with homeschooling regulations. Even in areas with less regulation, regular assessments help you identify areas where your child may need extra support.

• Standardized Tests: Some families choose to administer standardized tests, which provide an objective measure of their child’s progress relative to peers. Other parents who homeschool are completely against any kind of standardised testing.
• Portfolios: Portfolios are collections of your child’s work over time, which can include completed projects, photos, writing samples, and artwork. These serve as a tangible record of progress. A portfolio is my personal favourite, not just to record progress, but to record some really precious memories. It would be such an amazing thing to be able to look back with your 16 year old on all the stuff they completed as a little child!

• Progress Reports: Some parents opt to write semi-annual reports that summarize their child’s achievements, challenges, and growth. These can be helpful for review purposes and future transitions. Also these don’t have to be overly formal, you can write it like a diary or a fun story. Again something to look back and read when your kids grow up and move out.

With record-keeping, the focus is on supporting and tracking progress rather than imposing strict testing, creating a more individualized and less pressured learning environment.

One of the reasons a lot of parents choose to homeschool is because the current exams based system puts too much pressure on children.

It stops them from learning the things they are interested in and doesn’t give much time for creativity.

So if you do choose to home educate, take some time to think about what you want your child to achieve and what your child wants too.

Qualifications are always important and exams are usually a part of that. So perhaps striking a balance between creative learning and some exams based learning is ideal.

Pros of Homeschooling

Homeschooling offers numerous potential benefits, which are often what draw families to this form of education in the first place. Here are some of the key advantages:

1. Customized Learning

Homeschooling allows you to tailor education to your child’s unique strengths, needs, and interests. If a child excels in reading but struggles with math, you can provide more time for math without having to worry about holding them back. Similarly, if your child is passionate about a specific subject, you can go deeper into that area.

2. Flexible Schedule

With homeschooling, you don’t have to adhere to a rigid school calendar. This flexibility can be particularly beneficial for families with unique schedules, parents who travel for work, or children involved in intensive extracurricular activities.

3. Safe and Supportive Environment

Homeschooling provides a controlled environment that can reduce stress related to bullying, peer pressure, or other challenges children may face in a traditional school setting. For some children, learning in the comfort of home can lead to greater emotional well-being and academic success.

4. Strong Family Bonding

Spending more time together as a family is one of the aspects of homeschooling that many families cherish. Learning together often brings families closer, providing opportunities for shared projects, group learning, and family discussions.

5. Opportunities for Real-World Learning

Homeschooling can make education more interactive. Instead of focusing only on textbooks, you can bring learning into the real world through field trips, experiments, volunteer work, and other hands-on experiences that deepen understanding.

6. Focus on Values and Character

For families who prioritize certain values or wish to guide their children’s character development, homeschooling allows you to make those elements a core part of your child’s education.

This is one of my favourite aspects when it comes to homeschooling. Every time your child does something that is incorrect, or comes across bad influences, you as the parent have the chance to be there and be that voice of guidance.

Cons of Homeschooling

Homeschooling also comes with its share of challenges, and it’s important to approach it with an understanding of what you’ll need to manage.

1. Time Commitment

Homeschooling is a significant time investment. Teaching, planning lessons, organizing activities, and managing multiple subjects require dedicated time and energy. For parents who also work, this can be a challenging balance.

2. Financial Cost

While homeschooling can be done affordably, it often requires some financial investment in curriculum materials, supplies, and extracurricular activities. Additionally, if one parent needs to stay home full-time, it may mean adjusting to a single-income household.

3. Limited Socialization

While there are plenty of ways for homeschoolers to interact with peers, it requires effort to ensure children have consistent, meaningful social interactions. Parents often address this by joining homeschool groups or enrolling their children in activities like sports or clubs.

4. Potential for Isolation

Homeschooling can be isolating for both parents and children, particularly if there aren’t active homeschooling communities nearby. This requires parents to make an extra effort to connect with other families and find social outlets.

However this is something that this website and organisation hopes to help with. If you are currently feeling isolated or worried that might happen if you start home schooling, please drop us a message and we will do our best support you.

5. Less Access to Extracurriculars

Traditional schools often provide extracurriculars, from sports teams to DofE programs. For homeschoolers, finding and enrolling in such activities can require more time and coordination.

6. Responsibility for Academic Success

Parents bear the primary responsibility for their child’s education. This can feel overwhelming, especially if a child has learning differences or if a parent feels unprepared to teach certain subjects. However, many communities and online programs offer support resources to help.

7. Some children do better at school.

Not all children want to be ‘home’ all the time. They need that structure that school provides. Their teachers might offer them a kind of guidance that they wouldn’t otherwise get.

If you do really want to home school and are feeling overwhelmed by this, pls reach out and remember, taking things one step at a time is the best approach.

Is Homeschooling Right for Your Family?

Homeschooling is a unique approach to education, and it requires dedication, adaptability, and resourcefulness. Here are some questions to consider before deciding:

• Do you have the time and flexibility to dedicate to homeschooling?
• Are you prepared for the potential financial implications?
• Are you ready to seek out social opportunities and activities for your child?
• Does your child respond well to a non-traditional learning environment?
• Are you willing to continually adapt and find new ways to keep learning engaging?

In other articles, I will go into more detail on each of these aspects, but hopefully at this stage, you have a bit more understanding of what’s involved with home schooling and how it might change your current lifestyle.

Final Thoughts

Homeschooling is a major commitment, but it can be a highly rewarding educational journey. By understanding both the benefits and the challenges, you can make an informed decision that’s right for your family’s unique needs and values.

Remember, homeschooling doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing—many families start on a trial basis or mix homeschooling with other forms of education to create the best experience for their children.

Flexi-schooling, or part time school, is also increasing in popularity, unfortunately not all schools are able or willing to offer this but it’s worth asking if your child needs a mix of school structure but doesn’t want to be there everyday.